Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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