I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
