i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
