if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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