I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
