Porn is love you can see.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
