All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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