matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
