do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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