I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
