And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
a search helicopter?!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
