Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
