he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i think my cat just said my name.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
