Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
