Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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