Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
