return my video game
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
