Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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