We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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