but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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