New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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