onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize