I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
