Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
