Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize