great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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