Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
