I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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