Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
