He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
