the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
