It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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