i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize