maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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