Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I will pee on everything he values.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize