So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
