Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
