Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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