I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
