you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
