pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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