I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Operation Purity has been aborted
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sext me about skeletons
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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