The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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