Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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