Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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