Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
