omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
