its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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