we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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