if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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