if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
