look no pants
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
