I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
not ubering you a puppy
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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