We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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