remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
