he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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