I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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