I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
