Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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