I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
