I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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