yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
