My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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