i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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