Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
