My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So much rum. So many feels.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
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