apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
