that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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