i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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