ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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