is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
