I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
