i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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