Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
