Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
