Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
