Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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