New low: just hacked my moms facebook
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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